My Paris Decade

“I Am Running into a New Year” by Lucille Clifton

i am running into a new year
and the old years blow back
like a wind
that i catch in my hair
like strong fingers like
all my old promises and
it will be hard to let go
of what i said to myself
about myself
when i was sixteen and
twenty-six and thirty-six
even forty-six but
i am running into a new year
and i beg what i love and
i leave to forgive me

Friends, today is my birthday. It’s an occasion I like to think of as a rebirth, a chance to ponder changes for my new year ahead.

Truth be told, I play at these “fresh starts” often (which probably says something not so flattering about my follow-through). The rentree with its bustle after the slow summer vacation is usually that kind of time. My birthday, too. New Year and then Chinese New Year about a month or so later (I never quite manage to have made good on my January 1 resolutions.)

But this post is to share that a major change has indeed come to pass, and it may come as a shock.

Friends, I left Paris. At least for a little while.

I gave notice on my apartment, gave most of my stuff away. I returned to the town I grew up in, where I haven’t lived in nearly 20 years.

A path in Chapel Hill, NC. (Photo by TranceMist on Flickr Creative Commons).

Whoa, whoa, WHAT? you may be saying.

I know. It’s a lot.

When last I wrote you, a move wasn’t even in the mix. But things changed quickly and I hopped on the ride.

Birthday Time (and the best gift from you)

My feet in Dieppe on my first birthday in France (the rest of me is there, too)

Happy midterm elections, USA!

Ahem. Yeah. Doesn’t the world feel in such a sorry state these days?

You’ll forgive me if I’m focused more on the personal than the political today. Because…it’s BIRTHDAY TIME! Woot!

If I look a little dazed here, it’s because I am. I’d only been in France for a month and a half at this point. Ah, so many years ahead of you, sweetcake! A lot is going to happen.

I received a package from my mom last week with 3 wrapped presents and tried waiting to open them until today. (I’m like an impatient kid in this respect and could only last until the weekend before succumbing to my curiosity and peeking early).

Besides the thrill of gifts (thank you, mom!), this marks a triumph, too. It was the first package that has arrived safely from my mom IN YEARS.

Dipping way back in the archives, I once declared La Poste my number one nemesis. So many packages had gone missing (and I heard from a chorus of readers who experienced the same thing), that it seemed someone was sneaking away with the goods. And so I sacrificed the comfort of care packages from home forever (sniff!)

A 2014 portrait by Richard Beban.

My mom would heroically try again from time to time to no avail, but this time, holy miracle! It arrived. Let’s take this as a great sign for the year ahead.

I thought to do a little pampering for my birthday (France has taught me the value of self-care), but part of what I wanted was not to get bogged down planning anything.

So oops! Couldn’t get an appointment today for my little treats. That’s ok: I now have a salon appointment on Friday for a hair cut and a massage on Saturday. I’m more than happy to stretch the birthday out all week.

I’ll be seeing my beau soon, then have a little fete with my writing workshop tomorrow.

With any luck, I might even run into some colorful festivity such as this forró flashmob in Paris.

A simple celebration and I couldn’t be happier.

(Oh, actually I could! I love receiving your comments. Thank you for reading – it’s the best gift ever).

Update: wow, package from my dad just now arrived, too. 3 delivered packages from the post in a week? Amazing!

A Quiet Birthday

Pere Lachaise on a sunny day

The sound of rain woke me before the light had come, but the day gave way to sunshine by afternoon. I stayed in bed late, then read, then rose. It was a tranquil beginning to my quietest birthday yet.

I usually plan a celebration of some sort – I love my birthday! – but this year I didn’t feel that’s what I wanted for some reason. It might have had something to do with the storm – seeing the damage it wrought across much of the Eastern seaboard, but most personally, of course to my beloved New York.

Maybe it had to do with my anxiety over the impending election, too. (Please vote!)

But today there was no sadness. I was happy to face the day on my own terms.

After my languid start, I went to the library to work for a few hours, as has become my habit. Some would say, rest! Don’t work on your birthday! But slowly getting back into a committed writing routine is the gift I’m giving myself.

Sunny November Birthday

Happy in Portugal

Paris ordered up sun for my birthday! I’m so excited!

That’s a picture of me in sunny Portugal, by the way, not Paris, but you know, it still holds: good weather, happy times.

Looking forward to celebrating today and seeing what my new year has in store.

Have a great weekend!

Thank You!

Hello, friends!

I just wanted to thank you all for making my birthday so special. I was truly blown away by the number of nice comments I received. I am so grateful for you all – I feel as if I’ve gained a wonderful new community by starting this blog. Thank you for sharing the ride with me!

I promise a full post soon (perhaps even a Faux Pas Friday, as even on my birthday I managed one!), but for now just wanted to send a quick note of appreciation.

More soon! Bon weekend!

32 Flavors

So I wasn’t going to do this. But then, one of the perks of having a blog is receiving nice comments that make my day. And today is my birthday. And nice comments on birthday = even better birthday.

32. Hmm. Haven’t really heard anything in particular about 32. It seems like a nice enough age to me. And Ani DiFranco’s “32 Flavors” of course springs to mind:

(I’ll also pretend that the applause is for me)

Ok, not really a birthday song. But I do stand by this: “I am 32 flavors and then some.”

This song sent me down memory lane. I used to listen to Ani all of the time, particularly in my college years. She voiced both the full angst and awesomeness of that period for me. (Life is dramatic and hard! I am kick-ass and amazing!) Oh god, if I only knew.

After playing this little ditty, I started listening to a whole bunch of other Ani songs, what used to be a pretty regular soundtrack to my days though it’s been years. And I realize, goodness! She is still awesome!

And then I remembered that “32 Flavors” comes from her 1995 album. And that 1995 is FIFTEEN YEARS AGO.

This revelation/reminder of time speeding by started making me feel a bit bad, which was totally not the point.

Which is why I invite you to wish me a happy birthday and make me feel better. Because it will.

Thanks!