Spreading Rumors and Indecent Searches

Montréal - Les Chuchoteuses
So I know I’ve been stretching the definition of faux pas lately. You’ll have to forgive me; it is just my way.

This week’s installment is also a stretch, but it seems somehow fitting.

One of the snazzy features of my blog platform (WordPress) is that it shows what search terms led people here.

Some of the results are understandable, but some, quite surprising – all the way to downright dirty. (Really, there are a couple of X-rated searches that I cannot in all conscience share with you).

Now I know it is partly my own fault. I have, after all, written about questionable massage parlors and women wearing no pants. My defense is that I’m just reporting the facts; this really is my (somewhat odd) life!

Below are a few searches that have somehow brought people to paris (im)perfect. Dedicated readers will be able to match key words to blog posts. Some searches, though, seem way open to interpretation. Enjoy!

1) kissing faux pax

2) starving artists in Paris

3) good gynecologist in Paris

4) women with no pants

5) massage by men for men in Paris

6) flying kiss boy (um, excuse me?)

7) nothing but nylons

8 ) beautiful flamenco dancer

9) bars le Paris

10) lazy French people (for the record, I’ve never said anything of the sort!)

11) typical weekend

12) pharmacist pick up lines

13) blowhorns (again…what?)

14) grammar “checking in on you”

15) choree-zoe cone way-voz (I have nothing to say to this)

I think these searches not only call into question just what kind of blog I’m keeping here (way too many ‘no pants’ searches), but even more so, what are these people actually looking for? Flying kiss boy, for example. Anyone?

Now one search did seem quite highbrow: “Diane Johnson Elizabeth Hawes.” Two award-winning writers.

When I googled this myself, it turns out my Camus post came up number 2 on the results page!

But then I started to wonder: What’s the intention behind the search? What do they find?

I went back to my post and read with new eyes. I noticed that I referred to Hawes and Johnson as a “star pair.” Of course, this was my short-cut for saying “the two famous writers.”

But maybe, just maybe, someone could read this as an insinuation that the two are a couple? (They are not!) Oh, what have I done?

Though, really. Spreading rumors + creating controversy= spikes in traffic. Perhaps this should be my new policy?

(Just kidding.)

Any bloggers have examples of funny searches that have led people to your blog? Anyone have any idea why ‘blowhorns’ or ‘choree-zoe cone’ would lead someone here?

And as always, faux pas examples are always welcome. Maybe you can get me back on track!

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23 Responses to “Spreading Rumors and Indecent Searches”


  1. 1 PigletinFrance April 30, 2010 at 9:53 am

    Oh dear! Well you will write about such things so it’s normal people will search for your blog using phrases like ‘no pants’ – afterall, we all spread the word that Sion over at Paris (im)perfect is writing about trouserless women :) LOL :)

    choree-zoe cone way-voz: could this mean Chorizo Cone Waffles?

    Well, your search terms are certainly more interesting than mine: funny cartoons, sore throats, fashion tracksuits, tips for driving in France, doctors, difficulty breather and 100 other medical related words – do I really spend that much time going on about medical stuff? BORING!!!

    • 2 parisimperfect April 30, 2010 at 10:05 am

      Ah, so it’s *you* who has been spreading the word, Piglet! Just kidding. Yes, I understand most of these are my own fault (the whole no pants thing an all). But some – flying kiss boy ?? – I mean, I just don’t even know what people are looking for!

      Good call on the Chorizo Cone Waffles (though I still don’t understand even that. Does that even exist? :) ) I had absolutely no clue what the person was going for – or how that somehow led them to me :)

      As for you, either you need to start adding some risque terms to your posts or be thankful that you don’t have people looking for inappropriate things visiting you. I like the fashion tracksuits, by the way :)

      • 3 PigletinFrance April 30, 2010 at 10:53 am

        LOL :) there are some really strange ones in there that’s for sure!
        No, I don’t think the Chorizo Cone Waffles exist but they could be nice :) I think Marie’s suggestions below are much more plausible.
        I will be leaving the detective work to the pros from now on :)
        Thanks for an amusing post BTW.

      • 4 PigletinFrance May 3, 2010 at 4:00 pm

        Someone just found me using FAT PIG – not sure that’s one to be proud of :(

  2. 5 jodie April 30, 2010 at 10:27 am

    Love it! Too funny!

  3. 7 lupinssupins April 30, 2010 at 10:46 am

    Spicy Mexican sausage in a waffle cone? Could be tasty, if the cone’s not too, mais… The spelling is, for whatever reason, phonetic, so I read it aloud: Chorizo con huevos! A Google or Yahoo auto-complete verified it. Maybe when you were talking about blogs on French cooking, or ordering an omelette? How it got into phonetic Spanish, not knowing, I cannot say.
    I didn’t anticipate stumbling on a clue to “flying kiss boy,” but in scanning your recent posts, I may have. The awkward phrase reminded me of those sites on amusing (mis)translations and parodies thereof– possibly an Asian language, or Scandinavian (consider that unpronounceable Icelandic volcano– a conglomeration of words tacked together). Do you know if Google or other search engines comes up w/ descriptors for photos in blogs? If so, someone (or some machine) got the gender wrong, but your post on Les Bises included those 2 adorable shots of a “Flying kiss girl,” the little girl blowing a kiss that thus is “flying” to the recipient.
    Marie

    • 8 parisimperfect April 30, 2010 at 11:53 am

      Marie, You are brilliant! Wow. Just stunned at your detective work. I think you’re right on both counts. The caption of the adorable girl photo did say “flying kiss”! Mystery solved! As for chorizo con huevos, I don’t know, but it sure sounds good. Thanks for clearing these up! If I have other strange searches, I’m coming to you first :)

  4. 9 lupinssupins April 30, 2010 at 10:53 am

    P.S. Speaking of photos on your blog, I LOVE that statue! I have a vague sense of deja vu, but not sure. What can you tell me about it? Location, sculptor, vintage?

    -Marie de Saint-Louis [maybe for purposes of French-related posts, should change my screen name, which was given to me by a friend, on my bemoaning my failed attempt to plant souvenir desert lupin seeds in the tropics of the Mississippi River valley.]

    • 10 parisimperfect April 30, 2010 at 11:59 am

      Isn’t that statue wonderful? It’s called “Les chuchoteuses” (the gossipers) and is located in Montreal. Rose-Aimée Bélanger is the sculptor and it was placed on old Rue Saint Paul in 2002.

      A word about photos on my blog: I use a mix of my own photos and other people’s shots on Flickr’s Creative Commons. Mine usually have a snarky caption under them. Other people’s pictures link to the original photo (and have a caption and their name if you hover over the photo).

      It’s pretty fun finding photos that match up with the post. Like this one, I just fell in love with it!

      Thanks for solving the mysteries and asking about the photos! Plus, it’s great to know your name now! (though the screen name and explanation are pretty awesome, too.) :)

  5. 11 Adam April 30, 2010 at 11:14 am

    I have two that are pretty straight forward, but it has surprised me to see how many people look for them. The first is ‘Behind the Gare Saint Lazare’, a post I did about the streets behind the station, but also the name of a Cartier-Bresson photo. The search string people use is often clearly a full essay question, such as ‘What is the significance of…’, but I’m not sure if they actually find any answers on my page!

    The second is ‘One Two Two’, the name of a Paris brothel from the first half of the 20th century (and subject of another of my posts!). I thought it was quite an obscure and forgotten location, but I must get about 50 people a week coming to my site via that search term, and rather a lot of those from Germany!

    • 12 parisimperfect April 30, 2010 at 12:02 pm

      Wow, those are some pretty smart queries (hmm, well, maybe not the brothel. I won’t hazard a guess as to why mostly Germans are looking for that!)

      Your blog is full of insights so I’m sure people are quite happy to land on it, even if it wasn’t quite what they were looking for. I’m pretty sure people searching for trouser-less women are a bit disappointed when they land on mine :)

  6. 13 Alison April 30, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    Too funny! For ages now one of my most popular posts from google results has been about buying our IKEA bed slats. It’s certainly not informative about bed slats themselves but the googlers love it… oddness.

  7. 15 Fiona April 30, 2010 at 12:58 pm

    Chorizo con huevos, for sure. And on that subject: yum.

    But I’m commenting regarding search terms (focus! focus!). Two years ago, waiting for our son to be born, we posted a bit from Band of Brothers – “No Jump Tonight!”

    Since then, hundreds and hundreds of hits from people searching “no jump tonight.”

    ?

    • 16 parisimperfect April 30, 2010 at 1:23 pm

      Wow, so I am really the only one who did not understand chorizo con huevos. I will now always defer to my smart readers.

      No jump tonight. Hmm. *Very* intriguing. This has nothing to do with anything, but I am suddenly thinking of ’21 Jump Street’, that old series with gorgeous Johnny Depp. I know there is absolutely no connection, but hey, that search term doesn’t make any sense either. Thanks for commenting! :)

  8. 17 Lisa Lubin April 30, 2010 at 8:30 pm

    Okay! So…one of the most lovely and popular searches on my site has been for something along the lines of…get ready…
    “girls peeing.” I am so glad I have become a resource for those in search of this!

    I did write about having to get good at peeing outside in bushes (strangely that word isn’t searched) in Vietnam during a 2-week bike ride. :)

    • 18 parisimperfect April 30, 2010 at 10:18 pm

      Oh dear. Let’s not think to hard about what kind of people are looking for girls peeing. That reminds me that I *did* have to perfect my peeing in bushes too when I lived in Ghana. Haven’t written about that yet, so no one’s coming looking for that. Just the girls with no pants :)

  9. 19 Aidan Larson April 30, 2010 at 8:46 pm

    You are too funny! I loved the farmers in Paris post too. We watched that on France 24 and thought it must have been bizarre.
    Aidan

  10. 21 Dani Voirin May 3, 2010 at 7:56 pm

    Almost every day, at least one person finds my blog from searching for “brass knuckles.” I have a photo of Lee Miller’s brass knuckles, engraved with her signature. One more reason to love Lee, but probably not what these people are searching for.


  1. 1 A Taste of Garlic » That was the week… Trackback on May 4, 2010 at 5:06 am

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paris (im)perfect?

Sion Dayson is paris (im)perfect. Writer, dreamer, I moved to France on – no exaggerating – a romantic whim. As you can imagine, a lot can go wrong (and very right!) with such a (non)plan. These are the (im)perfect stories that result.

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